Kimberly Zurich ND LAc
Is it ok for me to feel happy?
This seems like a silly question to some, but for others it may resonate. We hear all too often to just change your mindset, it’s all about how you look at the world. But if things are going down the toilet, is it wrong of me to still be happy? Shouldn’t I be angry or sad? And what kind of person am I if I’m choosing to put those things aside and decide life is still brilliant?
Now, we can take this concept on two different levels. The first being personal. Let’s say finances are a bit slim and paying all the bills is a challenge. A coach would say to envision being successful, and be grateful for your success. Once changing the mindset to “I’m doing really well, I’m safe, I have enough, and abundance is all around” the idea is that believing it will bring it into existence. Skeptical? Consider the opposite. If you leave the house one day expecting it to be the worst day ever, what happens? Every little negative thing that occurs will confirm your thought, and you will start to see the negative everywhere. You become a magnet. Not only that, but being in this yucky mood will repel people, unless they happen to be ones who want to commiserate, only strengthening the dark cloud. See how quickly it can snowball?
What if we did the opposite? What if I decided all was going to be fantastic? What if being happy is a decision? This can snowball in the other direction as the positive elements attract more positive outlook and events.
The other day something really crappy happened to me. My friend responded, “boy, you can’t catch a break!” and it hit me as an odd thing to say. Why? Because I was in success mode; I was jamming along and enjoying the good things I could see about my life. When this incident happened, I reacted in a way that came from: this is a pothole, or an obstacle, that is very common and expected in this thing called life. I did not decide it was an ominous omen of darkness and insecurity and a sign of looming failure. I didn’t even give it the power that it was linked to more negativity than that one moment in time. (Yay me!) And let me tell you, the reason I realized how important this moment was, is I know exactly how it feels to be in the downward spiral of not catching a break; I spent a lot of time there in the past, and still do from time to time. The magic is in the recognition. It’s in the choice. Just as the good witch says “You have had the power all along, my dear.” Some days it is harder than others, but with practice, it becomes easier. Catching yourself feeling down, you can begin to count your blessings or repeat some positive affirmations, exercise, eat real food, and get some acupuncture; all to rewire your thoughts.
So, perhaps there are some very adult things going on that make me feel unsettled, or fearful, or angry. And despite them, I may decide that I’m doing alright. Why not? I have a 100% success rate of surviving thus far! But there are times, where as soon as I let the feeling wash over me of comfort and ease, there’s a little voice in the back of my head that says, but you should be worrying about x, y, and z! And there’s the moment: is it OK for me to feel happy?
Yes. Yes it is. Because going down that black hole of freaking out is not going to fix those things, and it is not going to put me in the mindset or mood to be able to accomplish anything to fix those things, and I’m not going to attract any positive situations while I’m swirling down the toilet. So it’s not only OK to be happy, but it’s how I should feel. So feel those other yucky emotions, let them say hello and say what you need to hear (because you know, they are informative warning flags to keep us on the safe path) and then make a plan, and put the worries aside. This is how we keep the body healthy. Decisions are not meant to swirl around inside us forever. We need to either act or not act, but then the thought needs to be let go.
Now, this has all been very egocentric, and I’m sure a lot of you are saying, but what about the global issues? I wish I could change these with my mindset, but I haven’t had much luck so far. I do see a lot of people who are struggling with the energy of what is going on in our world, politically, environmentally, and culturally. These feelings are all valid. The goal is to not let them carry you away, because as I said above, you can’t do any good when you are swirling in the black hole. It’s like the martial arts master who knows you can’t fight angry or you lose your center. If you feel overwhelmed, find one small place you can make a difference. You don’t have to take everything on; it’s not possible. Tuning out once in a while for sanity’s sake it also OK. You need to stay healthy and be a bright light for the world, and taking care of yourself (and that includes letting yourself be happy!) is the best way to do that.
The idea behind Infuse Health Clinic is a candle. One small candle can create so much light in a dark room. One small spark can begin to create change and infuse the world with brilliance.
So be happy, my friends. Expect good things and be the magnet that draws positive experiences to you. See the spark in the nooks and crannies. And spread it to your neighbor.